The Fox, The Cat, The Rabbit, The Wolf and The Exhausted Caregiver
by Qia13
Summary: Kakashi is pretty sure putting him in charge of three impressionable children is just a Capital A stupid idea. But what Hokage says, goes. So here goes nothing he guess. After all, how hard can it be? (not even two weeks later and Iruka had to make an intervention, for the sake of everyone's sanity.)
1. Before It Happens

**Kakashi's thought before it happens. **

* * *

Kakashi had to wonder if this whole thing happening to him was Minato-sensei's doing as a way of trying to make him stop being a - quote unquote -_'stupid idiot with less self-preservation than an empty scroll'._

Who in their right minds would give Kakashi children?

If his track records with teammates isn't enough to convince how much of a bad idea it is, Kakashi would also like to point out that he had just officially 'retired' from Anbu and is in no way shape and form should he in charge of the lives of three little impressionable genins.

And yet, here he is, failing yet another genin team as easily as killing his targets.

Kakashi had adamantly and respectfully refused to be a Jounin instructor yet Sandaime (that senile old man) had ignored him and sent these children just fresh out of the Academy to him.

It's like leading lambs to slaughter in Kakashi's opinion.

Just because he has nothing better to do **_doesn't mean_** he has nothing to do. There's a collection of Icha Icha Paradise he had yet to read sitting on his bookshelf after all.

Still, Kakashi is a loyal shinobi to the Leaf and what the Hokage says, goes.

So when children comes his way, Kakashi simply yeets them back as gently as he could (which isn't much) back to the Academy and be done with it.

That plan worked for awhile, until he got them.

Kakashi swore on his Icha Icha Paradise that he had heard Kushina-san's famous cackling of doom a day before he met them.

He really should've made an offering to the gods, or at least to Kushina-san before he went to get his genin.


	2. The Day It Happened

**Kakashi thought this would be easy. He tHOUGHT WRONG**

* * *

His first impression of his soon-to-be students: he hates them. He hates them as much as he hates being sick or low on chakra.

Not only is he stuck with his sensei's son - and boy is _that_ a whole box of worms he doesn't want to open, he's also stuck with the Last Uchiha brat and a girl who doesn't even know what subtlety means if it stabs her in the face.

Great. Just great. This will at least end with someone dead. Preferably him.

Casting his eyes to the sky, he laments to the dead spirits up above just why he had the suckiest luck in all of Konoha. He blames Obito for this.

(Somewhere in a suspicious cave, a man wearing a swirling orange mask sneezed)

The whole five minutes it took for the genins to get to the roof was spent by cursing the high heavens for his bad luck and waxing shitty poems about how fucking bad this is going to end. Hey, just because he reads good literature doesn't mean he knows how to write one.

With an audible heavy sigh, Kakashi cast his gaze back to the door just as it burst open and three little children spilled out like a stack of colored papers had scattered to the ground. Kakashi mentally note that they actually had the whole main color wheel in this team: yellow, red, blue and neutral.

Amused at the observation, Kakashi watched as the genins hesitantly settled themselves in front of him. At least they had some good sense in their heads.

"Alright, let's introduce ourselves." he said, leaning back against the rail as his lone eye looks at them.

The girl fidgeted a bit before she slowly raised her hand.

Sakura Haruno, the only kunoichi to get an almost perfect score on the test. It seems she thrive in a classroom setting but Kakashi doubts if she can survive in the real world. Her judgement skill must be good enough and she must've had either an eidetic memory or just very intelligent to be able to score high. Distantly, he wondered if Shikaku had an affair a long time ago.

(Somewhere in the Nara compound, Shikaku sneezed loudly)

Nodding his head in acknowledgement, Sakura shoots a hesitant look at him before she voiced her question.

Low self-esteem, he noted and filed the extra tidbit away as she talked.

"Um sensei, what exactly are we introducing?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that. Either she's really naive or his guess about her having good judgement skill is true. Not only did she inadvertently help clarify the order, she had also tried to sought out more information. A good trait for any shinobi if they want to stay alive.

"Maa, just some basics. Your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams, that sort of thing." he elaborated.

She looked at her fellow genin before looking back at him. "Then you should do it first, sensei."

This time, Kakashi can't help but grin. Guess this team isn't that hopeless after all.

"Well, my name is Kakashi Hatake." he started with a lazy drawl. "I like some things and I dislike many things. My hobby? Well, I don't think you need to know. And my dreams? Well, I don't think you need to know either."

Both Sakura and Naruto made a face at that.

"What the hell! You only told us your name!" Naruto exclaimed.

Kakashi just shrugged. He then pointed a finger at Naruto. "Well, why don't you start then?"

With a giant smile, Naruto started his introduction enthusiastically. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki-ttebayo! I like ramen and doing pranks! I hate the three minutes it took to make ramen and mean people! My hobby is pranking everyone, especially the Jounins and Anbus! My dream is to become the Hokage!"

Right, so the combination of Minato-sensei and Kushina-san had resulted in a hyperactive child that had somehow wanted the same thing they did when they were young. Good to know.

"Right then. Your turn, pinkie."

"My name is **not pinkie.**" Sakura glared but it look more like a pout to him. "My name is Sakura Haruno. I like..." she glanced at Sasuke before giggling a bit. "My hobby is to read. My dream is..." she glanced at Sasuke again and giggled.

"And your dislike?" Kakashi asked, already knowing the answer.

"I dislike Naruto!" she said decisively, much to the blond's shock.

"Right... You next, emo-kid," he pointed at Sasuke.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha," he starts gravely and oh god Kakashi is already thinking of setting himself on fire from how much emo this kid is going. "I like nothing and my dream is to kill one man." Sasuke finished.

Sakura swooned at that while Naruto frowned. Kakashi just tried his hardest to not bury his face into his hands.

Remember when he thought that this team might not be so bad after all?

He takes it all back. This team is doomed.


	3. Private Lesson

**A side quest for Kakashi! **

* * *

After he left the three children behind with a veiled threat, Kakashi wandered for awhile around Konoha, looking for something, anything, that could get him out of the predicament he's in.

S-rank mission with low possibility of coming back alive? Yes please.

A-rank mission that may or may not involve missing nins? Why, thank you for the consideration.

An escort mission for the nobles? Urgh, if he must.

But being Jounin instructor to three children that barely qualify as genins? No, just no.

Kakashi had to wonder if the old man has finally gone senile with all the paperwork he had to do. Such a shame. They lost a good man.

While Kakashi was offering his prayers to the spirits above for Sandaime's (sanity's) death, a man bumped into him carelessly, causing papers to be thrown about in a messy scatter.

And yes, Kakashi purposefully did not evade despite the fact that he can because he thought that maybe this is all just a dream and a good bump on the shoulder might wake him up.

(Unfortunately, he's still here)

"I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going!" the man apologised as he tried to pick up the papers.

Feeling a little bit bad, Kakashi stooped down and helped him collect his documents. Whoever started the rumors about Kakashi being an asshole is 100% right. But just because he's an asshole doesn't mean he's cruel.

As he straightened up with the papers in his hand, he noticed the mask hanging around the man's neck. A Caregiver.

Kakashi tried to suppress a shudder. Caregivers are the worst in his opinion. They always try to smother you with affection and genuine love and Kakashi is a bit allergic to that so he always try to avoid Caregivers if he could.

"Ah, thank you so much for your help!" the man smiled at him as he accepted the papers from Kakashi. "I'm so sorry for troubling you again, shinobi-san." the man bowed respectfully before he went on his way.

Only, he didn't make it two steps away before he stopped. Looking back, he gave Kakashi a questioning look. "Yes, shinobi-san?" he asked.

Kakashi blinked at that before he looked down to see his hand grasped around the man's wrist. He blinked again.

That's new.

The man is giving him a concerned look right now and- oh no. Kakashi recognise that look. He's seen enough of that on the face of every Caregivers he had met in the hospital.

Hastily, he release his grip and smiled charmingly at him. "My apologies. You seem familiar and I was wondering," he bullshits.

The man tilted his head to the side for a bit as he frowned in thought before recognition came to him. Then the face shifted into anger and- okay, this is really new.

"You!" the man gasped with a pointed finger directed at him.

"Me?" Kakashi echoed amusingly, pointing a finger to himself as well.

"You're the one who made that atrocious report!" he exclaimed angrily.

Kakashi blinked at that.

"I never thought I would find someone who could write worst than a five-year-old yet somehow I did! How the hell have my predecessors been able to read your report?!" the man huffed. "I bet even dogs could write better than you!"

Okay, now he felt a bit insulted. As a matter of fact, Pakkun did write better than him and he's both proud and insulted at that.

"Maa, it has never been a problem now has it, chuunin-san?" Kakashi smiled.

The man gaped at him, mouth opening and closing before he shut it close with a decisive snap, eyes blazing in determination. He stalked purposefully towards him and- yeah, maybe it's time for him to make a hasty retreat.

"Well, chuunin-san. I have a... very important bussiness to attend to so I bid you farewell!" Kakashi said quickly before he tried to jump away.

Unfortunately, he underestimated an Academy teacher who is very determined and also happens to have experience in dealing with flighty, troublesome children.

Kakashi hadn't even took a step back before he felt more than saw something being slapped on him and his whole body froze.

Glancing down, he could see a slip of paper and what seems to be a seal drawn on it.

"Don't even think about running away, Hatake-san. You and I will have a _long _night to get to know each other better." the man promised darkly.

Kakashi, for the first time ever, felt truly scared.

Fast forward to a few moments later and now Kakashi finds himself sitting politely in front of a table, hunched over a paper with a brush in his hand and a stern teacher in front of him.

"Be more gentle with the strokes, Kakashi-san. How can someone who knows how to kill a person with his pinkie finger not able to write this character properly?"

"This kind of thing requires a steady hand, Iruka."

Iruka gave him a flat look. "I know you have steady hands, Kakashi-san."

Well... it's true, but Kakashi won't give him the satisfaction of confirming to that.

"I **_can_** write prettily, Iruka." he sighed loudly and no, he did not whine so shut up, Iruka!

Iruka just raised an eyebrow at that. "Yet why didn't you?"

"Because it's not important," Kakashi answered.

This time, it's Iruka that sighs. "Kakashi-san, I'm not asking you to write prettily. All I'm asking you is to write a report that doesn't make me want to consult to my student's own writing in order for me to decipher what exactly you're writing about."

Okay, that's fair. Even Kakashi admits that he can't understand what he's writing about sometimes.

Kakashi kept on writing as he tried to defend himself. "To be fair, most of my reports were made the day I came back to the village. And almost every time, I came back half-dead or almost dead."

This time, Iruka had to close his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Kakashi-san," he said after two whole minutes of just pinching his nose, "No one ever said that you had to write a report immediately after you arrived."

Kakashi's hand stilled at that. Glancing up to Iruka, he gave him a confused look. "It's not?"

"No. Reports can be handed two days after a mission and in the case of injuries, can be extended to a week after a mission or until the shinobi responsible for said mission could write it. No one said you had to hand your report on the same day you return." Iruka explained patiently.

A few seconds passed before Kakashi let out a curse. "The fucking Sandaime _lied _to me." he hissed.

Iruka just gave him a consoling pat on the shoulder.


	4. Burning A House Down

**Kakashi's idea of fun usually never end well for others.****Also, Sakura deserves a lot of love for putting up with her ridiculous teammates. **

* * *

Once upon a time, Kakashi was just your (not) average ninja serving his village. Killing people here, stabbing people there, the usual.

But one day, the wise (and senile) Sandaime gave him an important mission: to guide the future generation down the path of shinobi and make them better than their predecessors.

With great reluctance (that isn't even fake), Kakashi (reluctantly) accepted his duty to become the shepard and guide these lost little lambs (to slaughter).

Yet every lambs that came his way was unworthy of the knowledge he desires (and has no intention) to give and so he turned them away.

For months he sent the lambs back to their mothers and prays (to Kushina-san) that he will (never) be given the chance to pass his knowledge.

(Un)Fortunately, his (real) prayers were (not) answered.

Which is how he ended up sitting in front of three little children cutely growling and making threats at him from their tied-up position. Naruto was the loudest which is unsurprising since Foxes tend to be very vocal, followed by Sakura who surprisingly had a very creative imagination and also a very dirty mouth unbefitting of someone with a Rabbit mask while Sasuke just glowered and hissed at him like the little Cat he is.

All in all, Kakashi had a not-so-terrible day today.

"So, my little gremlins~ what did we learn today?"

"That you are a fucking asshole." Sakura spat out venomously.

"That your traps sucks!" Naruto shouted loudly and sticks his tongue out.

Sasuke just continued glowering and hissing at him.

Kakashi wiped a fake tear away. "Look at you three finally thinking the same thing." he fake-sniffed. "Look at how much you've grown."

"We just met _yesterday_," Sakura ground out through gritted teeth.

"And look at how much you've grown!" Kakashi said again.

Another round of threats and insults and growls were once again hurled at him and Kakashi just sat there and soaked it up happily.

So what if he got a little petty when Sandaime said he can't fail them? If he has to suffer them, then they have to suffer him too. Now it's a lose-lose situation and everyone will suffer as much as he does.

By the time the sun was high enough, his three little genins had tired out and are now slumped against the log they were tied to.

"Sensei~ I'm hungry~" Naruto complained.

Well, most of them were tired out.

"Now, now, Naruto. You know the rules. You didn't manage to run away from me so no lunch for you." he reminds him.

Naruto makes a face at that. "It's not fair! You're a Dog! Of course you'll find us easily!" he whined.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that. "Why do you think I'm a Dog?" he asked curiously despite the boy being completely wrong about his true mask.

Now it's Sakura's turn to make a face at him. "We're not stupid, **sensei**." she huffs. "You're quite famous and people had said you wore a Dog mask when you were Anbu."

That last word grabbed everyone's attention.

Kakashi blinked in surprise. While it's an open secret that he was Anbu, the only one who actually knew about it are shinobi his age, the Anbus, the higher-ups and those who were smart enough to figure it out. He's quite surprised to know that Sakura, a civillian, knew about it.

"You were in Anbu, sensei? That's so cool!" Naruto looked at him in awe, his anger towards Kakashi immediately forgotten.

Even Sasuke looked as if he's seeing Kakashi in a new light.

Ignoring the two boys, Kakashi gave Sakura a critical eye. "How did you know about that, Sakura?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah! How did you know that, Sakura-chan?!" Naruto turned his attention towards her.

Sakura blushed at the attention she was given. The bravado she had earlier when she was cursing her superior had seem to evaporate. "W-well, people talk a lot and... no one really care much when they see a little girl, especially a Rabbit... so they tend to... look over me..." she trailed off meekly.

"And?" Naruto prompted encouragingly.

"Um, well... I heard from two shinobi-san mentioning about Kakashi-sensei... they were talking about him retiring from Anbu and mentioned about his mask..." she told them hesitantly. She then looked at Kakashi with worried eyes. "Will I be in trouble for eavesdropping? It's supposed to be a secret, right?" she asked innocently.

"I'm afraid so," Kakashi lied easily.

Sakura immediately paled at the thought, no doubt thinking the worst possible outcomes. Tears started to gather in her eyes and her lips trembled a little. "I don't want to go to jail," she said in horror.

"No way! I'll fight anyone who tries to take you away, Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Don't be stupid, Dobe. You can barely fight Kakashi. What makes you think you can fight against Jounins?" Sasuke, surprisingly, made a good point.

"But! But! Sakura didn't do anything wrong!" Naruto gave a distressed look at the Uchiha. "We can't let her be taken away like that!"

By now, Sakura is crying and hiccuping lightly as she valiantly tries not to sob out loud.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto. "Use your brains! You're good friends with the Hokage, right?"

"Old Man? Yeah, why?"

"Then you can ask him to not arrest her."

"But what if he doesn't agree?" Kakashi cuts in, amused by the play-by-play he's seeing. "What if the Sandaime doesn't want to release her? What then?"

Naruto cast a desperate look at Sasuke. Sakura is now really trying hard not to wail out loud by biting her lips. Sasuke makes a face as he thinks. Kakashi just sits there and enjoys the show.

" Then... we cause a distraction." Sasuke finally suggested.

"Distraction?" Naruto echoed. "How?"

"I know some fire jutsus. I could burn a house down or something," Sasuke offered.

Naruto frowns at that. "Isn't that dangerous? What will you do if the fire spreads?"

"Why should I care?" Sasuke challenged.

"Because if it spreads then Konoha will burn and then where will we live?" Naruto shoots back.

"Um..."

The two boys turned to look at Sakura.

"Wh-what if Naruto becomes distraction instead?" she suggested through tears.

Sasuke gave her a doubtful look. "How can he do that?"

"W-well, he always pranks people right?" she eyed Naruto and got a nod in return. "And distractions don't have to be dangerous," she continued, her voice going stronger as she talks, "it can also be harmless like pranks. As long as people are distracted by, say the hokage monument getting vandalised or a sudden mass explosion of glitters everywhere, then that's okay too right?"

Sasuke looks thoughtful at that.

"A-and it also saves our chakra so we could use it to escape." she added.

The three of them was suddenly jolted out from their deep discussion when a laugh was heard.

They looked up at Kakashi and eyed him warily as their sensei laughed and laughed and kept on laughing as if he had finally lost his mind.

"Right." Kakashi said decisively, abruptly ending his laugh. His three genins gave him a weirded-out look but Kakashi chose to ignore that. "While I do love to hear your jailbreak plans, I have to unfortunately stop you there."

With a few flicks of his hand, the rope binding them fell to the ground, freeing them from the wooden post.

"Congratulations, you three gremlins passed the test." Kakashi smiled happily as he announced the result to them.

The genins traded looks before looking back at Kakashi, distrust clearly seen in their eyes.

"I thought we failed when we got caught by you?" Naruto asked in confusion.

"Those who break the rules are trash. But those who abandon their comrades are worst than trash." Kakashi solemnly said. "Your willingness to burn a house down just to save Sakura had made me realise that you three might be worth my time after all."

The three of them was silent. Until Sakura's eyes widened and she set two angry eyes on Kakashi. "You were playing with us!" she exclaimed.

Both boys realised what she meant and set their eyes on him too. Now he has three angry genins looking at him as if they want to murder him.

How adorable.

"Well done noticing it, Sakura! Now run along to your houses and think about today's lesson. Also, get plenty of rest because tomorrow we'll begin the real test. Toodles!" Kakashi said before he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

The scream of frustration coming from the training grounds after that had never sound so sweet like before to Kakashi.


	5. This Is Why We Respect Teachers

**Or how Kakashi is forced to attend night class held by Iruka**

* * *

"Can you believe how stupid people can be?" Kakashi slumped on the table and absentmindedly played with his brush.

"Clearly you haven't seen how many stupid reports I had to check the first time I took over a mission desk." Iruka stated without looking up from the paper. "And stop slumping and sit properly, Kakashi-san."

In response, Kakashi just slid further down until he's lying on the floor, the brush still in his hand. Iruka sighed but made no move to reprimand him.

"Did you know what happened today?" he asked again as he continued playing with his brush.

"Judging by how angry Naruto was when I met him, I can guess."

Kakashi immediately sit up and threw a look at the teacher. "You hang out with Naruto?"

"Yes." he replied shortly, still efficiently grading the test papers. "If you have any problem with that, please write a complaint and forward it to someone who cares." Iruka paused for a moment and looked up. "Of course, provided they don't throw it away since they can't understand your shitty writing that is," he smiled politely.

Kakashi dramatically placed his hand on his chest. "You wound me, Iruka. Look at that, I'm bleeding."

Iruka just rolled his eyes at him and continued his grading.

Huffing in dissatisfaction for not being able to get a rise on Iruka, Kakashi leaned back down on the floor, his one eye identifying some seals painted on the ceiling of Iruka's room.

A few minutes passed in comfortable silence before Kakashi popped up again like a mole popping out of a hole.

"What is it this time, Kakashi-san?" Iruka asked as he set his finished work aside and grabbed a few strips of blank papers and a brush.

"Did you know Sakura would make an excellent infiltrator or information gatherer?"

Iruka cast a confused look at Kakashi, silently asking him to explain.

"She knew I was in Anbu." Kakashi prompted.

Iruka made an exaggerated face of surprise.

Kakashi gave him a look to show how unimpressed he is with Iruka's attempt at acting how surprised he is to know Kakashi was in Anbu.

Iruka just shrugged and went back to making seals. "What does that have to do with Sakura being an infiltrator?"

"She told me that she overheard two shinobis talking about how my 'Anbu days'," he made the quoting fingers, "are over."

Iruka hummed at that.

"She said that since she's just a harmless little Rabbit girl, no one really noticed her." Kakashi continued.

"I noticed. I wanted to suggest to the Sandaime about training her to be an infiltrator or something along that line but then we'll be one student short and Team 7 won't exist if she's not there." he told him. "Besides, I think she'll be good for Naruto and Sasuke. Despite having such a clashing persona, those two are quite similar in a way so I hope Sakura could balance out the team."

"So you're the reason why I'm stuck with those gremlins."

Iruka shot him a pretty smile in return.

As Iruka continued making seals, Kakashi eyed him curiously from his seat. "...has anyone ever told you how scarily crafty you can be?" he asked a few seconds later.

Iruka laughed at that. "Believe it or not, you're the second person to tell me that."

"Oh? And who's the first?"

"Sandaime-sama." he answered.

"Well, as they say: '_like calls to like'_ or something like that. Or is it_'__it takes one to know one' _?" Kakashi pondered.

Iruka just grinned at him without saying anything else.

"Well then, Iruka-sensei. I enjoyed our time together but it seems like it's time for me to go." Kakashi excused himself and made a move to leave. Only, his whole body froze mid-rise and Kakashi let out a groan. "Can't I skip it? Just this once?" he pleaded, trying and failing to look at Iruka who is behind him so he could give the sad puppy look to the man.

"You promised me, Kakashi-san; a good report with all the forms filled properly and with a writing eligible enough to be read by me and everyone else," Iruka remind him.

"I have three gremli-I mean genins to train tomorrow?" he tried.

"Then all the more reason we should do this properly in one go." Iruka smiled.

Kakashi just let his head fall in defeat and let himself be subjected to the most tedious thing he has ever done for the night.

"Can I at least read my Icha Icha-"

"No."


	6. To Fight Out Of Spite

**Sometimes, spite can be the greatest motivation for three individuals to work together and defeat a common enemy. **

* * *

"Today we are going to play a game." Kakashi announced when he arrived three hours late.

Immediately, his three genins tensed up and looked warily at him. Good. At least they learned something from yesterday, Kakashi thought in satisfaction.

"Today, I want you to try and steal these bells from me," he said as he held up two silver bells. It tinkled merrily as it shook and swayed in the wind. "Anyone who fails to get it will be sent back to the Academy."

Immediately, Sakura's eyes narrowed as her hand shot up. When she got a nod from Kakashi, she shoots him a look full of distrust as she questioned. "There's only two bells you're holding, Kakashi-sensei. What happens to the team if only one of us didn't pass? Don't you need at least three people for a genin team?"

Well, well, someone had actually paid attention to whatever lectures the Academy had held about the structure of teams.

"I'm so glad you asked, Sakura-chan." - Sakura bristled at that, hands clenched and nose flared as she glared at him - "To the other two that passed, while they won't go back to the Academy, they still won't be able to do any C-rank and above missions and of course, they can't participate the Chuunin Exam." Kakashi explained. "Although I doubt any of you could get it by noon," he added as an afterthought.

As predicted, the three genins made a face at him and growled in challenge.

"Well, if everybody's ready, the test starts in three, two, one-"

The three of them, in a rare show of good judgement and also going against what Kakashi had predicted, immediately retreated back into the forest surrounding the training grounds, trying their best to hide themselves from him.

With nothing else to do, he looped the bells on his belt, pulled out his latest Icha Icha Paradise, flipped to the page he had marked and settled himself for a long wait.

It took a good chunk of two hours and three Icha Icha books he had carried with him before his cute little gremlins make their move.

Even if they failed to show what he wanted to see, at least he can compliment them for taking the time to prepare themselves instead of charging straight ahead. Even Naruto showed great self-restraint when the boy hadn't even appeared once into the clearing Kakashi was standing in.

Unfortunately for him and fortunately for them, Kakashi had underestimated them quite a lot.

Or more specifically, Kakashi had forgotten how petty children can be.

He's not proud to say it but somehow, some way or another, these three fresh genin that doesn't even know how to tree-walk much less water-walk had almost succeeded in defeating him.

And all it took was some wires, Naruto's pranking talent, Sakura's wild imagination, Sasuke's thirst for revenge and a whole lot of pettiness.

"Well..." Kakashi spoke as his clone cuts off the last wire around him, "That was...something alright."

His three cute gremlins merely growled at him from where they were half-buried in the ground, cuts and teared clothes were seen on them; proof to how vicious they were to force Kakashi to actually retaliate properly.

Crouching down so he would be on the same eye-level with them, Kakashi held up the bells in front of them. "None of you were able to take it. What do you have to say for yourselves before you go back to the Academy?"

"Now you know my traps are cooler and better than yours!" Naruto grinned, eying the cuts on Kakashi's cheek and mask that was caused by his successful wire trap.

"Fucking worth it," Sakura smiled viciously as she gave an appreciative look at all the tears on Kakashi's vest. She knew it was a good idea to place those wires in a certain pattern to trap her sensei.

Sasuke just smirked in satisfaction when he sees the cuts on Kakashi's sleeves. His aim is truly the best among the three of them and Sakura's idea to attach the end of the kunai with wires was brilliant.

Kakashi just smiled and tried his best to not coo at his three murderous genins. Look at how adorable they look with their satisfied grins as they look at the damage (however small it is) they caused on their sensei. It's like watching pups being satisfied at catching a weak little bunny on their first hunt.

Mind made up, Kakashi pulled the mask covering half of his face down and gave them a proud smile. "Congratulations, my little gremlins~! You are the first team to pass my special test!" he told them proudly.

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke stilled in their attempts to get out and gave their sensei a questioning look.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"Excuse me?" Sakura blinked.

"The fuck?" Sasuke breathed.

"That's right, my cute little pups! You have just won yourselves a lifetime of eternity with me!"

Three sets of eyes blinked at him before three healthy faces paled considerably.

"No! Get me out of here! I want Iruka-sensei back!" Naruto wailed as he struggled to free himself. "Iruka-sensei!" he sobbed out loudly.

"This is a nightmare. This is a nightmare. This is a nightmare." Sakura muttered to herself as she closed her eyes and tried to convince herself that everything isn't real.

Sasuke stared in horror at Kakashi before he closed his eyes and opened them up again to reveal a one-tomoe sharingan. With shaky hands, he made a hand sign and shouted "Kai!" over and over again.

Kakashi, for his part, just laughed merrily.


	7. Beneath That Serene Smile

**-hides venomous fangs. Kakashi isn't the only one favored by the Hokage in this group.**

**Also****, bamf! Iruka for the win! **

* * *

The moment Kakashi stepped into Iruka's apartment, he pulled off his shoes and stomped angrily towards him.

Iruka looked up from the seal he was making and watched with confused and worried eyes as Kakashi settled loudly in his seat in front of him, crossing his arms and huffing every few seconds.

"Do I want to know?"

Kakashi let out another huff before looking straight at Iruka. "What do you have that I don't, Iruka?" he demanded bluntly.

Iruka blinked at the sudden question. "Where is this coming from, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi grumbled under his breath for a bit about someone and Iruka patiently waits. He absentmindedly brushed his fingers along the edge of his Caregiver mask, silently wondering if he should put it on before deciding against it.

"Those gremlins don't appreciate the rare chance I'm giving them," Kakashi finally confessed.

It doesn't take that much effort for Iruka to know whom these gremlins Kakashi is referring to. Coincidentally, said gremlins had also met him a few hours earlier with a haunted look. Sighing heavily, he stood up from his seat and walked towards the kitchen to prepare some tea.

"What did you do?" he asked loudly as he set the kettle on the stove.

Iruka couldn't see him but he can guess that Kakashi is doing an exaggerated response to his accusation. The loud proclamation of him denying of ever committing any form of atrocities was heard and Iruka had to suppress a laugh at that, almost flinging the tea leaves all over the counter. Thankfully, he was able to prepare the tea and place it on the tray without any incident.

Carrying the tray, he set it down on the table and carefully served the jounin the tea along with a slice of cake he bought earlier.

"So what's this I hear about you being with them for all eternity?" he asked before taking a sip of his tea.

Kakashi paused midway to eating the cake and shoots Iruka an accusing look. "They went to you, didn't they?" he asked accusingly.

Iruka just smiled serenely, neither confirming nor denying the statement, something that all Caregivers seem to be able to do since birth.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at that but concede defeat, knowing full well he won't get anything out from him. Taking a large bite of the cake, Kakashi was quite surprised when he didn't taste the expected sweetness.

"I have a feeling you don't like sweets very much, Kakashi-san," Iruka said casually as he took another sip of his tea.

Kakashi isn't sure whether he should feel grateful or wary of Iruka's thoughtfulness. In the end, he chose the middle option and accepted the fact that Caregivers are just weird and continued eating.

"What did those gremlins say to you?" Kakashi asked between mouthfuls.

Iruka gave a scathing look at Kakashi's manners but chose not to comment on it. A wise decision since the jounin is going to just ignore it anyway.

"They didn't say anything for awhile. I had to calm them down enough to make sense what they were trying to say. Even then, the only thing I could make sense of is the fact that they're now stuck with you for forever." Iruka told him.

"Sounds about right," Kakashi nodded. "They passed my special test which means Team 7 is officially ready to go conquer the world." he declared proudly.

"Instead of conquering the world, why don't they start conquering the village first? It's nice to have high ambition but aiming too high can sometimes be your downfall," Iruka advised.

Kakashi looked thoughtful at that. While it does sound nice for his team to be known all over the Elemental nation right off the bat, it's better to start small first and build some reputation in the village before releasing them to the world. Yes, that does sound nice, doesn't it?

"Hmm, I like that idea. You make a very good point, Iruka."

"I'm happy to help," Iruka smiled in return.

"This is great...this is really great... I need to go make some plans or someth-" he froze mid-sentence when a familiar sensation washed over him. Looking up towards Iruka, his instinct immediately warned him of an incoming danger.

With a serene smile that doesn't tell much, the teacher activated the seals he had discreetly placed around Kakashi's spot. A green barrier was formed around the silver-haired jounin, trapping him inside.

With a sigle flick of his hand, Kakashi was able to move again.

"Um, Iruka? What-"

"You are not going to leave that barrier until you're done filling out the forms." Iruka interjected.

"Forms? What for-"

Kakashi was once again interrupted when a small stack of papers poofed in existence in front of him.

"Those are the forms that jounin instructors fill when they approve of the formation of their team. I will not let you leave until you've finished filling it out properly and with eligible handwriting." Iruka explained calmly, as if he hadn't just trapped one of the best (former) Anbu and jounin in a barrier like a mouse in a cheese trap.

"... what if I don't?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"Then I'm sure Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura would be quite thrilled to hear that they won't be seeing you again."

Kakashi had to admit, he got him there. Now that he's determined to keep the gremlins, he can't easily give them a chance to back out now.

"How the fuck are you still a chuunin?" Kakashi wondered, half-curious and half-incredulous at Iruka's current rank as he took a peek at the forms.

Iruka just smiled serenely again as he took another sip of his tea.


	8. Breaking The Limit

**Either Kakashi forgets they're literally children or he's actually an asshole and enjoys other people's suffering.****They lean towards Kakashi being an asshole. **

* * *

"So~? How was your day~?" Kakashi asked innocently as if he wasn't there to see it. He smiled down at his kids, his face mask pulled down just enough to expose his lips.

"We hate you," Sakura moaned tiredly, an arm covering her eyes so she won't be able to see the smug look on Kakashi's stupid face. "Hate you so much."

"A white-haired demon," Naruto muttered clearly enough to be understood despite being face-down on the ground. While he's not feeling as drained as his teammates thanks to a certain fox, the constant need for him to think of new traps and ways to make it better took a toll on his mind.

Sasuke, as eloquent as ever, just showed a middle finger to Kakashi, his arms shaking with effort to stay up long enough to convey how done he is with Kakashi's bullshit.

Their whole body ached from the constant running they've been doing all over the village trying to complete the ridiculous amount of D-rank tasks that Kakashi had somehow got his hands on. It took them almost all day to finally finish it all.

The only reason why it even took them that long to complete them was because of the fact that a certain silver-haired **bastard** kept trying to sabotage and screw up their effort at every mission. Every. Single. One.

Kakashi, that fucking twat, didn't even show an ounce of sympathy towards them.

"Looks like we did a good job on our first mission day," Kakashi continued happily, earning a withering glare from Sakura and a loud sound of protest from the still face-down Naruto. Sasuke just continued giving him the finger.

When the three genins got home, they didn't even bother to change their clothes before they went to bed and passed out from sheer exhaustion.

The next morning, they were rudely woken up by a splash of cold water being dumped on them so violently. When they realised that they're actually on the training grounds instead of their bed, they screamed so loud, it startled not only the animals in the vicinity, but also some shinobis who were near enough to hear them.

Kakashi just smiled as they continued screaming and hurling curses at him, not really bothered by the volume thanks to the ear plugs he's wearing.

After a quick sparring match that ended with both a bruised pride and a bruised body for the genins, they once again had to complete a ridiculous amount of D-rank missions while trying their hardest to not strangle their sensei as he continued being a nuisance.

They did come close to burning him though when Sasuke set some forest on fire by 'accident'.

This cycle continued for five whole days before they finally snapped. With zero fucks to give and a can-do attitude from Naruto, they declared war on Kakashi, to which the jounin joyfully accepts.

On that day, all of Konoha residents - both civilians and shinobis alike - witnessed the biggest, loudest and very destructive game of tag between three screaming children and a laughing man. In fact, the damage they caused as a result from their 'game' nearly caused the Sandaime to die of a heart attack. Thankfully, one of the Anbus on duty was able to calm him down before he actually did.

Unbeknownst to the four of them, that incident became the first stepping stone for Team 7's rise to infamy.

It would also be the start of the many legends that will come to surround them.


	9. Anywhere? Anywhere!

**Children will always be children. Yes, that includes Kakashi because he's as childish as them.**

**Also, Iruka is actually holding an intervention but no one notices it. **

* * *

"Can I ask you a question, Iruka?"

"Sure. What is it, Kakashi-san?"

"Why are my three greml- I mean genins doing here in your house at this time of night?" he pointed at the three said genins sitting at the table, hunched over a strip of paper as they write on it.

"It's rude to point, Kakashi-san." Iruka admonished him lightly. "And why not? They expressed an interest on learning how to make seals so I thought, _"why not?" _and brought them here." he explained.

"Right, let me rephrase that question. Why arec**my** students asking for your help instead of me? **_I'm _**the one who had learned seals from _the _Yondaime himself. Doesn't that mean that **I'm** the most qualified to teach seals?"

"Between you and I, which of us use seals more?" Iruka calmly asked.

"...you."

"And which of us has more knowledge and understanding about seals that could par with the great Toad Sage himself?"

"...you."

"And whom, between the two of us, does Sandaime actually listens to?"

"Well actually-"

Iruka stared him down until Kakashi slightly deflates.

"...you."

Kakashi glared at the genins when the snickering starts. Silently, he signed in Anbu code that said he will definitely get back to them if they don't stop.

The three genins feigned confusion despite the fact that they know that he knows they know Anbu code. He did teach it to them after all.

"Stop threatening them, Kakashi-san." Iruka said without looking up from his work.

"You know Anbu codes?" Kakashi blinked in surprise at Iruka.

Now it's Iruka's turn to blink in surprise. "You taught them Anbu codes? In five days?" he asked, baffled. "And I don't need to understand it to know you're making threats."

"They picked up quick." Kakashi shrugged.

Iruka turned to look at the genins. "You learned Anbu codes in five days?" he asked them.

"It's easy to remember," Sakura replied.

"I already knew some," Sasuke told.

"I already knew," Naruto said.

Everyone on the table stared at Naruto. Naruto stared back.

"How?" Kakashi asked.

"I broke into Anbu's headquarters once and saw a book about Anbu codes. They had a lot from what I see so I 'borrowed' one and never gave it back." Naruto shrugged like it's no big deal.

"Wait, hold up, you _broke _into Anbu headquarters and didn't get caught? _How?"_ Sakura looked at him in awe and disbelief.

"Fox luck," Naruto answered as he pointed at his Fox mask. "Thanks to this, I can get into almost anywhere!"

"Anywhere?" Sasuke asked.

"Anywhere!" Naruto chirped.

"Anywhere?" Sakura questioned.

"Anywhere!" Naruto affirmed.

"Anywhere?" Kakashi slides in.

"Any-"

"Alright, we get it. Naruto can get into almost anywhere." Iruka interrupted. "Now get back to your seals. I want it done today." When Kakashi made a move to say something, Iruka glared at him. "Don't even think about doing that again or I will use my seals on you," Iruka threatened.

The four of them immediately settled down but throughout the night, grins and sign language were exchanged and they all giggled like school children at their inside joke, much to Iruka's exasperation.


	10. A Healthy Mind Is A Fantastic Bribe

**Kakashi tries to be helpful. He's 2/3 successful.**

**Sakura is secretly groomed to be the responsible one. **

* * *

"Are you sure this is healthy, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked.

"I find that having an outlet to get your anger out is quite beneficial actually," Kakashi smiled down at his only female student.

Sakura eyed him suspiciously. "Where did you hear that from?"

"Iruka." he answered.

"Lies." she dismissed.

"Very good. How could you tell?"

"Because Iruka-sensei wouldn't tell you this so freely. He knows better than any of us how much you'll do something stupid with said information."

Kakashi made a wounded look. "Have you no faith in your sensei?" he frowned and tried to give her the puppy look.

Sakura gave a blank stare as she jabbed her thumb towards the activity that's happening behind her.

Sasuke was spewing streams of flames, causing the area around him to glow bright as he sets his surroundings on fire. Somewhere deeper in the forest, the sound of Naruto cackling echoed around as flashes of orange could be seen darting between the trees.

"To be fair, this forest has insane regenerative speed and is almost fireproof so there's no worry about killing the ecosystem. There's a reason why Death Forest is such a popular spot for us jounins to go crazy a bit." Kakashi defended.

Kakashi doesn't understand how a small child like her was able to give him such disappointed eyes. It almost look scarily similar to Iruka's. Did she take extra lessons with him behind his back? Kakashi doesn't know how to feel about this.

"Well, at least your reasoning is sound so I'll let it slide." she sighs.

... who died and made her leader of this team? Wait, you know what? Kakashi actually doesn't want to know the answer.

(Kakashi swears he saw a glimpse of red hair just now but chose not to think about it)

"Nevermind that. Why don't you join the boys?"

Now she's staring at him as if he's both crazy and stupid.

"What? What did I say wrong now?"

"Sensei, I have lower chakra levels compared to those two monsters. They're powerhouses. Not me. I would literally die if I go as crazy as them." she explained patiently.

That... makes sense actually. Kunoichi usually have lower chakra levels but have better fine control compared to their male counterparts which is why most of them ended up as either a medic or a kunoichi that specialises in genjutsus.

The best course of action Kakashi could take is to make her get interested in either of those but somehow... somehow it just doesn't feel right for her.

Crouching down low enough to be on her eye-level, he tries to pick his words so he could gently tell her that it's okay to not be as strong as the boys. "Sakura, there is zero chance of you to be on the same level with Sasuke and Naruto."

Yes, it seems like Kakashi still has his ability to do the opposite of what he meant. This is why he doesn't want to be a teacher.

As if reading his mind, Sakura gave him a consoling pat on his shoulder and an understanding look. "It's okay, Kakashi-sensei. We all know how useless you are with emotions."

Kakashi made an offended noise at that.

"If it makes you feel any better, at least you're better than Sasuke."

That actually does made him feel a little bit better.

"... have you been studying with Iruka on how to manipulate people?"

The sweet smile she's giving him neither confirm nor deny that claim. Just like a Caregiver. He felt a bit betrayed. He's the sensei now, not Iruka.

"I'll tell you Iruka-sensei's favorite place to eat if you teach me how to walk on trees and water before you teach the boys," she offered.

"Deal."


	11. Kakashi And Iruka Sitting In A Tree

**Kakashi ambushed Iruka. Iruka tricked Kakashi. Both isn't sure if it counts as a date. **

* * *

"Why do we have masks anyway?"

Iruka looked up from the scroll he was reading. He looked down at the scroll thoughtfully before he looked back up at Kakashi again. "Is this just a way for me to admit that I'm teaching Sakura to be the responsible one or are you actually trying to be philosophical?"

Iruka couldn't tell if Kakashi was smiling or not since he doesn't pull his face mask down like he usually does when he visits him. Glancing around the restaurant, he could guess why.

"Sakura told you about this place didn't she?" Iruka asked as he closed the scroll and put it away in his vest.

"Sakura is a smart woman that knows how to play her cards well." Kakashi answered cheerfully.

Iruka raised an eyebrow at that.

"Let's just say that the boys might grow a hatred for trees and won't be staying dry for a while."

Iruka took a sip of his now cold tea to hide his grin. He knew Sakura was interested on tree and water walking. He was the one who put that idea in her after all.

"It's good to hear that she's good and ahead in something the boys aren't for once." Iruka remarked. Grabbing the menu lying forgotten at the table, he flipped through the pages for a bit before looking at Kakashi expectantly.

Kakashi tilted his head in a silent question.

"Don't you want to order? I promise the food here is good," he said, still looking at the jounin expectantly.

Kakashi blinked slowly, as if trying to understand what Iruka is saying, before taking the menu sitting innocently near his elbow and flipped through it.

Once they placed their order to the waiter, Iruka starts talking about his day at the Academy and the mission desk, telling him about all the ridiculous things he'd seen while he was doing his job, hands gesturing wildly as he retold the events.

Even after their food arrived, Iruka kept on talking, stopping once in awhile to eat, chew and swallow before continuing on.

Kakashi just sits there and listens, making a few hums here and there, laughing quietly at the funny stuff that happened and shaking his head ruefully at the ridiculousness from the students and his fellow shinobis that Iruka had to face.

They say when you're in good company, time will pass by more quickly than the usual and that's exactly what it felt like to Kakashi. Before he knew it, they've arrived at Iruka's place.

"Well, it was nice to spend some time with just you again, Kakashi-san." Iruka happily grinned.

"Maa, it was quite a pleasant evening for me too, Iruka-sensei." he replied charmingly.

"Iruka."

"Hm?"

"Call me Iruka. You never called me Iruka-sensei in our three weeks of knowing each other and it feels weird to hear you call me that after all this time." Iruka confessed, a faint blush on his cheeks, lips lightly bitten and- oh. _Oh_.

Pulling down his face mask, he closed the distance between him and the chuunin, mouth just inches away from his.

"May I?" he asked quietly, eyes lingering at Iruka's lips before it darted back to his eyes.

With a blush now deepening, Iruka let out a light huff before he grabbed his vest for leverage and placed a chaste kiss on Kakashi's lips. "Goodnight, Kakashi." he whispered shyly in his ear before he pulled back and closed the door, leaving Kakashi to stand in shock outside his apartment.

"Does this mean you're dating Kaka-sensei now?"

Iruka quickly turned around, eyes widened in surprise to see Naruto peeking from the couch. "Naruto? Why are you here?"

"You're late," another head poked out. "It's almost midnight." Sasuke gave him a flat look.

Iruka blinked in surprise. "Sasuke-kun? Why are **you **here too?"

"Did you had a fun date?" this time a pink head popped up. "Did you kiss him first?" Sakura asked curiously.

Iruka blushed when he remembered what happened just a few seconds ago.

"Ha! I was right!" she turned to look at her two teammates. "Now both of you owe me two D-ranks!" Sakura crowed happily.

"Not fair! You planned it the whole time!" Naruto accused.

"He's right." Sasuke agreed with narrowed eyes.

"Did not!" Sakura shot back.

"Did too!" Naruto countered.

"You told us yourself," Sasuke reminded.

Iruka sighed in fond exasperation at the sight of them bickering. A few weeks ago, he was hesitant to put them in a team but now...now he's not even sure why he was worried at all.


	12. Day After

**Kakashi may or may not be insecure. Iruka is just trying to make seals and Team 7 may or may not be breaking up. The usual. **

* * *

"Are we dating? Does this mean I'm your boyfriend now? Iruka? Hey, Iruka~"

Iruka closed his eyes and silently asked his ancestors for the strength to not whack a certain jounin with the kunai. "For the ninth time Kakashi, now is not the time," he sighed.

"It's the tenth time actually, Iruka-sensei." Sasuke corrected.

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun."

"So Iruka-sensei and Kaka-sensei are dating now?" Naruto looked at Kakashi questioningly.

"I don't know, are we?" Kakashi looked at Iruka amusingly.

Iruka tried his best to bury the sudden urge to throw a kunai at Kakashi. Judging by the understanding gaze Sakura is sending at him, he's not as successful as he thought.

"Kakashi, if you ask one more time about that, not only will I break up with you, I will also make sure to break into your house and burn every Icha Icha collection I see," he calmly threatened. "And if that's not enough, I can also break your team and assign a new teacher for them."

Stunned, blissful silence greeted Iruka. Satisfied, he continued making the complex seal he was working on earlier.

"...you wouldn't really break us up from Kakashi-sensei will you?"

Iruka blinked up in surprise at Sakura. He was half-kidding about that of course and hadn't actually really considered separating them but he thought they weren't as attached to him as Kakashi was to them.

"No of course not, Sakura-chan. I would never do that if you don't want me to," he assured gently.

Sakura's eyes were glistening with unshed tears and Iruka can't help but be proud and worried for her when she tried to do her best to hold it in. It felt like just yesterday when he first met the crybaby Sakura.

Sniffling lightly, she made her way towards Kakashi and crawled into his lap, surprising the two adults, especially the jounin.

Kakashi looked down awkwardly as he stayed still, unsure what to do as his only female student who looks like she could be breaking down to tears anytime soon settles in his lap. He shoots Iruka a helpless look to which Iruka gave a helpess shrug in return.

"Comfortable?" he asked after a few moments of sitting still, not really knowing what else to say.

Sakura nods silently, the sound of her sniffling could still be heard occasionally.

Naruto carefully approached them, trying his best to not startle her. Everyone knows Rabbits are easily startled and tend to hide somewhere safe when upset. When he got close enough, he settled on the ground near them and slowly offered his hand to her. When she accepted it, he beamed at her happily.

"It's okay, Sakura-chan. Iruka-sensei would never separate us. Kaka-sensei would be useless without us and he knows this." he tried to assure her with a smile.

Kakashi made a noise of disagreement but didn't say anything else.

Sasuke made a 'hmm' sound from his spot. "The dobe is right. Kakashi needs all the help he could get to understand his emotion," he smirked.

This time, Kakashi made an offended noise. "You're the last person I want to hear it from." he glared at the Uchiha.

"Yeah, Kaka-sensei is right. You don't really have a lot to say about emotions too, bastard." Naruto grinned.

Sakura giggled at her three male companions as they start their light banter with each other. Iruka just smiled and continued his work, letting the sound of their bickering melt into background noises.

"Wait, does this mean we **are** dating, Iruka?"

Iruka let out a long suffering sigh.


	13. Talking About C-Rank Missions

**While having dinner, Iruka suggest Team 7 to do C-ranks, unaware of the future chaos that's about to happen.**

**Meanwhile, cherry tomatoes are being passed around the table.**

* * *

One night, while they were having dinner at Iruka's home, the chuunin suggested that Team 7 should do one C-rank mission.

"C-ranks?! Yes!! No more fixing roofs and fences!" Naruto exclaimed happily, almost spilling his miso soup all over himself if it weren't for Kakashi's quick reaction to save it.

"Calm down, Naruto. We're at the table and eating right now," Iruka reminded sternly.

Sheepishly, Naruto apologised and quickly settled back into his seat, accepting his soup with a cheerful thanks when Kakashi handed it back to him.

"It would be fun to get out of the village once in awhile. I heard the Tea Country has a lot of nice tea leaves," Sakura commented while she tries to discreetly shove the vegetables she didn't like on Kakashi's plate.

"It does. I remembered buying some when I visited that place. I wonder if that teahouse I liked is still running..." the jounin mused as he ate the vegetables without a thought.

Naruto made a loud thoughtful noise. "I heard they have awesome dangos too!" he added between mouthfuls.

"Don't talk and eat, Naruto." Sakura admonished him lightly.

Naruto gave her an apologetic look and tried his best to not talk while he eats.

"I'll try to see if there's any C-rank missions to Tea Country but don't hope too much." Iruka said as he offers a bowl of cherry tomatoes to Sasuke. The Uchiha graciously accepts it with a quiet thanks to the chuunin.

"Just having something close by will be good for their first time," Kakashi smiled as he ate another piece of vegetable that wasn't in his plate before.

"Sure," Iruka agreed happily.

"I heard C-ranks are mostly escorts and deliveries." Sasuke remarked as he pass the bowl of cherry tomatoes to Naruto.

"Eh~? Sounds boring~" Naruto frowned at the bowl before passing it across Kakashi to Sakura.

"At least we could get out of the village and go to other places, Naruto." Sakura pointed out, accepting the bowl and putting a few of the cherry tomatoes onto her plate and Kakashi's. She then passed the bowl back to Iruka. "It's not usually dangerous right, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka accepted the bowl with a smile. "Not at all! Except for the occasional bandits you might meet on the road and the dangerous animals, there's not much to be wary of," he informed them. "Still, you need to be careful when you're on the road. Bandits and animals aren't the only thing you need to watch out for. If you do what I taught you during survival exercise, I'm sure you'll be fine."

Three choruses of understanding from the three genins were heard over the table and Iruka nods in satisfaction. The table then settled back into comfortable silence as everyone went back to eating.

"...wait, why are there so many cherry tomatoes on my plate?" Kakashi wondered before narrowing his eye at his three snickering gremlins.

Iruka just hides his grin behind his cup.


	14. Along The Road

**They met Tazuna. They hate Tazuna. They slightly like Tazuna. And Naruto got poisoned. It's a great start overall.**

* * *

The first time they met Tazuna, everyone immediately agreed that he was an asshole and a pain in the ass.

When they got attacked by two C-rank missing nins on their way to Wave and heard his story, they thought less about him being an asshole. The pain in the ass still stands though.

"Well then my little gremlins, what do you think we should do when our mission gets misranked?"

"Yell at the person in charge for not doing a proper job when we get back?" Sakura guessed amusingly.

"Continue doing our mission with no holds barred?" Sasuke suggest with a hopeful look.

"Kick Tazuna's ass?" Naruto smiled innocently.

"Incorrect!" Kakashi crossed his arms to form an X. "Although I approve of your train of thoughts."

The three genins preened at his approval.

"While I hate to be the voice of reason, I'm now dating Iruka so his voice of reason got stuck in my head instead," he told them sadly. "So who can guess the correct answer?"

"Are you seriously doing this right now?" Tazuna asked incredulously.

Kakashi gave an eye-smile at Tazuna. "Of course! Every moment is a learning experience!"

"Whatever! Just get me out of this damn green thing so we can go back to Wave!" he tapped angrily at the barrier surrounding him.

Sakura tutted at the man. "And this is the thanks I get for trying to protect him." she grumbled as she made a series of handsigns. The barrier seemed to waver for a moment before it shimmered out of existence.

"It's a thankless job for sure," Kakashi spoke as he gave a light ruffle of Sakura's hair without looking when she went near him. Already used to Kakashi's weird ways of handing out compliments, she leaned into it and gave him a beaming smile in return.

"Alright kids, what do you think we should do now?" Kakashi asked, gaining his gremlins' complete attention.

"Are you saying you're giving us the chance to choose whether or not to continue the mission despite you being the team leader and have the executive right?" Sakura asked knowingly.

"There's a reason why you're one of Iruka's favorite." Kakashi said fondly.

"Obviously, I'm the number one." Naruto added slyly.

Sakura rolled her eyes at him. "Keep dreaming. Iruka-sensei likes me better."

"Hmm, somehow I doubt that," Sasuke interjected.

"Now, now, my little gremlins. Now's not the time to see who Iruka likes better," he chided lightly. "Besides, we all know Iruka likes me best." Kakashi smirked at the end.

Immediately, the three genins let out a loud protest at his claim and Kakashi just smiled and ignored them all.

Tazuna just stood where he was and groaned, wondering what he ever did to get them instead.

"Oh yeah, I got scratched earlier by their claws and now my hand feels weird." Naruto said suddenly and held out his hand to show where the scratch is.

"It's probably the poison." Kakashi told them nonchalantly as he eyed the healing scar.

"What?! Why didn't you say this earlier?! We need to quickly get the poison out!" Sakura exclaimed before she rummaged through her bag and pulled out a smaller bag full of first-aid kit. But before she could do anything, Naruto pulled out a kunai and stabbed his hand, much to her shock and ire.

"What the hell, Naruto!" she shouted as she pulled out a few antiseptics and gauze. "Just because you can get the poison out like that, doesn't mean it's a smart move, idiot!" she scolded him, smacking him lightly at the back of his head out of anger and worry. "You might die of bloodloss!"

"Meh, I'll live." Naruto waved dismissively with the hand holding the kunai, sending a few blood splattering to the ground. "It'll take much more than this to get rid of me," he assured.

Sakura just let out an exasperated sigh as she forcefully took his bleeding hand and starts to treat it.


	15. Enter Zabuza, Exit Zabuza

**Or that time when Iruka's lesson was used well. **

* * *

After the short fiasco with Naruto bleeding himself out to get rid of the poison that ended with Sakura lecturing him and the entire team about self-preservation and common sense, they continued making their way to Wave without any incident.

As he discussed with Sasuke on how to make a better illusion that might be able to scar the devil-cat Tora for life, he kept an eye on his surroundings, body tensed in preparation should he need to jump in front of any danger that would appear.

Despite only been together for almost a month, his genins were able to notice his tense posture and had immediately put up their guard as well, scanning the area for any signs of danger while they continued pretending to be oblivious and relaxed.

Sakura was the first to notice the rabbit in the bushes, followed by Naruto who noticed Sakura noticing the rabbit.

"What's a little fella like you doing here?" Sakura wondered as she picked up the rabbit. Her whole body went rigid when she craddled it, setting off alarms in Kakashi's head.

Kakashi yelled them to get down just as Sakura yelled _"danger!",_ causing everyone to drop down to the ground, Naruto pulling Tazuna at the last second when the bridge builder didn't.

A huge sword appeared out of nowhere and flew around where their heads would've been before it curved and lodged itself at the nearest tree. A man then appeared on top of it.

The man was about to say something but was interrupted when a kunai went flying by. He glared at Sasuke and was about to speak again but was once more interrupted when another kunai flew past him. He set two angry eyes at Naruto now and tried to speak again but another kunai whistled above him.

He snapped.

"Stop throwing kunais while I was trying to talk you little shits!" he roared, eyes blazing with fury as he glared down at the two male genins.

"Oh yeah? And what will you do if we don't?" Naruto challenged as he threw another kunai at him.

The man easily dodged it, narrowing his eyes at Naruto. The blond just smiled cheekily in return.

When another kunai came hurtling towards him, he caught it with his hand and set his eyes at Sasuke. "Big mistake, you little shit." he growled.

Sasuke smirked at the face of the threat, not really bothered by it. "You're the one who made a mistake," he said.

Before the man could even retaliate, a green barrier rose up from the ground and enclosed him within it, successfully trapping him and preventing him from being able to do anything. The man glanced down to see Sakura smiling widely at him, looking pleased at being able to easily trap him like a mouse in a cheese trap.

"Well... that was anticlimatic." Kakashi said as he stared at the man. "Never thought I'd see the day when the infamous Demon of the Mist Zabuza gets caught."

Zabuza snarled loudly at the insult and jumped off the sword, dislodging it and taking a big swing at the barrier in an attempt to break it. Unfortunately, the sword bounced off harmlessly without leaving even a scratch.

"Don't even bother. This barrier can withstand Naruto's exploding tag." Sakura bragged proudly, and since the fact that the exploding tag Naruto created had almost destroyed half of the Death Forest, it was quite a testament to how strong that barrier really is.

Zabuza let out a string of expletive curses as he tried to shatter the barrier in many ways, all of it ending up with the same failed result. In the end, he was left panting and in rage while the barrier stood perfectly spotless, silently mocking him.

The fact that the three little shits and their bastard jounin had also threw a few insults at him didn't help either.

When Haku made an appearance as a fake nin hunter, he could feel hope blooming in his chest, only for it to quickly die out when Naruto took one look at Haku and slapped a seal at him, immediately paralyzing him in place.

The hope of escaping these Konoha shinobis was shattered and ground into dust when Kakashi pushed up his headband to reveal his sharingan eye and looked at Haku, trapping the fake hunter into a world of illusion where he couldn't easily escape.

"Well, at least that takes care of him," Kakashi smiled at his three genins as he hid his sharingan again.

Sasuke just stared at him in silent shock while Naruto made a confused look, alternatively looking at Sasuke and Kakashi. Sakura just busies herself with making another barrier around Haku.

"I can explain?" he tried at the Uchiha.

Sasuke shut his mouth with an audible click and narrowed his eyes at the jounin. "If I find out it's stolen, I will make sure to crash your date with Iruka-sensei for the rest of your living days." he vowed darkly.

Kakashi paled at that. "You wouldn't."

Sasuke gave him a hard stare. "Try me."

Naruto looked at them both in amusement.

Zabuza glared at Sakura who had the gall to smile innocently at him, the rabbit she found earlier snuggled comfortably in her hold.

Tazuna just popped open another alcohol he carried and took a swift drink of it.


	16. Between Barriers

**Just because they should, doesn't mean they would.**

**Or the fact that everyone in Team 7 has somehow become Naruto. **

* * *

Once upon a time, Tazuna was a simple man with a simple life. He has a simple job and a simple strife and didn't even thought he could get a wife. And then he did and it became a bit difficult, but still it was simple life and he was never ridiculed.

But then Gatō appeared and started terrorizing everyone and then Tazuna had the brilliant idea to build a bridge and then got himself in trouble which forced him to ask for protection from shinobis which then ended him stuck with Team 7 which led to him wondering if this is karma for lying about the job specification he had given to the shinobi back when he put in the request.

Also, he came to the conclusion that the Konoha shinobis, particularly this specific team accompanying him, are insane because this scene happening in front of him? He's quite sure it's not normal.

"See this stroke? It's actually quite difficult to do it. You can't make it too big or you'll mess up the whole matrix." Sakura lectured seriously as she held up her seal.

"I see. How fascinating. I never thought about that when I made seals. It explains why mine isn't so stable like yours," Haku nodded thoughtfully, his fake mask now tied at his waist as he peered through the barrier to scrutinize the seal.

"Iruka-sensei said that it's a common mistake people usually made. They never realized the importance of balance and weight in each stroke you make." Sakura wisely told.

"He also said that a steady hand makes a sturdy seal." Naruto interjected.

"I'm intrigued to know more about this sensei of yours. Tell me, is he a seals master?" Haku inquired.

"He is-ttebayo!" Naruto answered enthusiastically. "The best in the village! Not even Kaka-sensei who is the Yondaime's student can match Iruka-sensei!"

Zabuza rose an eyebrow at that. "Yondaime? You mean the Yellow Flash? No wonder you're such a fucking bigshot in the bingo book, Hatake."

"Language," Kakashi said out of habit, a result from spending too many times around Iruka.

Zabuza just snorted at that. "They're _genins, _Hatake. They're a fucking adult in the eyes of the system."

"Doesn't mean they are one," Kakashi countered without looking up from his book.

Kakashi ducked slightly to avoid the fireball thrown at him. "We've been over this Sasuke, use your words when outside of sparring and the Death Forest." he chided as he flipped to another page.

Sasuke made a series of Anbu signs at him before ending it with a rude gesture.

"Hah! The brat has a point!" Zabuza crowed.

Sasuke blinked at Zabuza. Another series of signs.

"Heh, I was Anbu myself, brat. Despite being from different villages, you'd be surprised at how almost similar the codes are." he smirked. "Although, we have more codes for insults. It passes the time when we guard those stuck-ups."

Sasuke's eyes lights up at that.

"Oho? Interested, are we?"

A short sign of agreement.

Kakashi sighed beside the barrier trapping Zabuza. "Don't enable him, Zabuza. We worked hard to make him use words instead of signs. Curses are one of the things I didn't teach him just so he would talk," the silver-haired jounin said exasperatingly.

"All the more reason to teach him then!" Zabuza laughed. "Now watch closely, brat. This is the sign for when you want to say, '_May you die a death full of despair as you stare down my kunai in terror'_."

Kakashi sent an exasperated look to the sky.

Tazuna on the otherhand, is trying his best to not drown himself with alcohol. Can't build a bridge when you're dead and all that.


	17. A Plan Was Made

**Or that time when everyone became Sasuke but with a little touch of Sakura and a drop of Naruto. **

* * *

Kakashi mulled over the plan spread out in front of him with a serious look. Quietly, his genins watched him from the sidelines, eyes shining with eagerness.

"So? What do you think? Is it good, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura finally asked when she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Hmm..."

"Come on! It's got to be good-ttebayo! We worked hard on this! Please say it's good!" Naruto pleaded, making puppy eyes at him to gain sympathy.

"Hmmm..."

"Stop trying to be an ass and tell us," Sasuke rolled his eyes at him.

"Hmmmmm..."

"Personally, I find it quite excellent," Haku commented.

"For genins," Zabuza scoffed. "Though I admit it's not bad. I've seen worst made by jounins."

"See! Even Zabuza agreed!" Sakura exclaimed. "So please say that it's good! It took us almost two hours to make it!" she begged desperately.

"Oh, for Heaven's sake! Why are you people making a big deal about how you should spend your money?!" Tazuna shouted in exasperation. "Everyone knows you save 1/3 and then use the rest on food and daily products!"

Now it's Zabuza's turn to roll his eyes. "Fucking normies. Idiots, the lot of them."

Tazuna sputtered at that.

"Now, now, Zabuza. They lead a very different life compared to ours so let's try not to kill them out of spite. At least, try not to kill our client." Kakashi said placatingly. He then turned to look at his genins and gave each of them a pat on the head.

The three of them preened at his silent praise, feeling very pleased and proud.

"Yes, yes, while this is all adorable and all, need I remind you that you still haven't completed your job yet?" Tazuna snipped at them.

"And need I remind you that due to your negligence, our mission is misranked thus we have every reason to just leave you to their mercy?" Kakashi shot back, jabbing a thumb at the two still trapped ninjas behind him.

Zabuza casually lifted his sword without breaking eye contact with Tazuna while Haku smiled serenely at him.

Tazuna paled at the sudden reminder.

"Hm, I thought so." Kakashi eye-smiled at him.

"Still, he has a point. What should we do about our current job, sensei?" Sakura, ever the sensible one, asked the question.

"Hmm, not sure," Kakashi hummed. He then looked at Zabuza. "If we let you go, will you promise not to try and kill our client?"

"Of course not." Zabuza answered immediately. "Even I need to make money to live."

"Mm, thought so." Kakashi frowned.

Sakura then siddled up to Zabuza, peering at him curiously. "If you don't mind me asking, are you working with Gatō?"

"Isn't it obvious? Of-fucking-course I work for Gatō!"

Naruto made a face at the name. "Urgh, he sounds like someone who will betray you when you got the job done," he blanched.

'_You got that just from his name?'_ Sasuke signed at him.

"Well, yeah. His name just screams, '_betrayal!'_ to me." Naruto shrugged.

"Well, he's not wrong there," Tazuna agreed with a toast of his alcohol that he had magically produced out of nowhere.

"What?" Zabuza said dumbly.

"The blondie-"

"Hey! Rude!"

"-is right. That sleazeball did something like that a couple of months ago with this no-name ninja. Found that poor bastard dead in a ditch the day he was supposed to be paid." Tazuna said nonchalantly.

"Huh. Guess I was right." Naruto said in quiet surprise.

"How can you guess that Gatō is an A-grade asshole but still fell for Mizuki's trick to get the forbidden scroll?" Sakura questioned.

"Hey! I was sad I didn't pass! You can't blame me when that bastard took advantage of my sadness to do something stupid!" he defended. "And how did you even know about that?"

"Rabbit, remember? I might as well be invisible when I wear my mask." Sakura shrugged.

"Can we get back to the topic of how Zabuza is being fucked over by Gatō now?" Sasuke piped up.

Zabuza glared murderously at him.

"Now, now, let's all calm down," Kakashi said as he stepped into Zabuza's line of sight, blocking him from his genins. "Instead of trying to murder each other, why don't we form a mutual understanding that may benefit the both of us?" he suggested.

Zabuza gave the silver-haired jounin a scrutinizing look. "... I'm listening."

"We both want something; us to keep Tazuna safe from Gatō, you to get the money from Gatō for whatever evil schemes you have running in your head. So why don't we compromise?"

"And what do you propose we do to reach that, Hatake?"

Kakashi's eye gleamed with glee and mischief. "I suggest we give Gatō a taste of his own medicine."

Instantly, his three gremlins perked up with interest, all three of them wearing those faces they make when they plan to do something that might end with either a big explosion or another stack of property damage bills.

Zabuza grinned widely. "I like your way of thinking, Hatake. It seems like this might be the start of a beautiful friendship between the Leaf and the Mist." he declared with a predatory look.

Tazuna just wonders how he isn't dead from alcohol poisoning by now.


	18. Before The Plan

**Step one: a seal to make someone dead**

* * *

"This is stupid." Zabuza growled.

"Your hair's stupid." Naruto shot back without looking up from the seal he's making.

Zabuza narrowed his eyes at him, hand already gripping his sword when Kakashi placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Give them even a scratch and I'll personally show you my version of Hell." Kakashi said happily.

Zabuza snorts at the threat but lets go of his weapon. "Such mother-hen. How will your genins survive when they leave the nest?" he sneered.

"Maa, they still have a lot to learn so they aren't leaving the pack just yet."

Zabuza raised an eyebrow at the term but didn't comment on it. Shifting his gaze back to the three Konoha genins, the scowl returned to his face when he was reminded about the plan.

"Why the fuck are we even doing this? Can't we just go kill the guy and be done with it already?" he grouched unhappily.

Sakura looked up from the seal she was making to give him a flat look. She then clicked her tongue before going back to her seal, clearly dismissing him.

Zabuza hadn't even realize he was reaching for his sword if not for Haku stopping him.

"While your plan may sound nice and easy, this whole thing isn't that simple," Sakura said without looking up. "Even if we kill Gatō now, we still don't know where he hides his money. We don't know if he evenhavethe money he promised you Zabuza-san, which is why we're doing this plan so we can punch him where it hurts," she explained patronisingly, as if Zabuza is a genin who had just started out instead of a full-fledged jounin that had seen his fair share of bloodshed and war.

'_At least she's polite,'_ Zabuza thought to himself as he let Haku pull his hands away from reaching towards his weapon again.

"_Don't mind them. They're snippy when they do seals,"_ Sasuke signed at him before he swatted Naruto gently at the back of his head.

"Fucking ow, bastard!" Naruto huffed. When Sasuke gave him a hard stare, he grumbled bitterly under his breath before setting aside an unfinished seal.

"No shit." Zabuza deadpanned. "And why are **you** not doing anything?"

_"I don't really have any talent in seals like them."_

"Sasuke's too impatient to do the type of seals we're going to use," Kakashi explained. "He can do basic seals but that's it. So now he's the designated Caregiver in the trio."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at that. "_Someone has to. Remember what happened when we left them alone?"_

"Ah yes, they nearly passed out from hunger at Naruto's house." Kakashi smiled fondly. "They also nearly blew up the neighbourhood too. The Sandaime almost had a heart attack when I told him. Good times."

Zabuza exchanged looks with Haku. "And I thought **we're **the ones who have issues." he groused. Haku just laughed lightly at that.

"Done!" Sakura and Naruto shouted simultaneously, holding their seals up with a proud smile.

Kakashi gave both of them a pat on the head which gave him two beaming students in return.

"Well then!" he turned around to face the two Mist-nins, cheerfully holding up Naruto's seal in front of him. "Who's ready to be dead?"

"For the record, I hate all four of you."

"Noted and ignored!" Kakashi said cheerfully and slapped the seal on Zabuza without any warning.

Immediately, Zabuza's whole body seized up, twitching erratically for a few seconds before he went completely slack. Carefully, Haku placed two fingers on his neck and frowned when he couldn't find a pulse. He then placed a hand on Zabuza's chest, channeling his chakra through it.

The four Konoha-nin waited with bated breath.

"It's faint but I can feel Zabuza-sama's pulse." Haku informed them.

"Oh, thank Sage! I was afraid it might go badly and kill him by accident!" Naruto said in relief.

Sakura whacked his head. "You don't just say that out loud, idiot! It's rude!"

"She's right, Naruto. If you're not careful, you might hurt their feelings without knowing it." Kakashi agreed.

"It's called common courtesy for a reason, dobe." Sasuke sighed.

Haku just looked at the fake-dead Zabuza in regret. "Zabuza-sama, I don't think I can go on without you. I can't be the only sane person here."

Zabuza just stayed fake-dead in answer.


	19. After The Plan

**The plan went off without a hitch. Which might be why they did what they did. **

* * *

It took them two days of stalking the sleazy man, three days to find his various hideouts scattered throughout Wave, and another two days for them to immobilize the group of thugs Gatō had hired.

Of course, if Kakashi did it by himself, it would've been done and over with in three days but he thought this might be a good way to show and educate his three adorable gremlins about infiltration and co-op mission.

In the end, he felt quite satisfied at how well they listened to him. Even his two male students didn't try to rebuke his commands and followed his orders as best as they could. So when they expressed the desire to do some fun activities, he happily agreed and indulged them.

"What the everlasting fuck?" Zabuza said the moment he arrived at their agreed meeting place with Haku supporting him.

"Oh! You're here!" Kakashi greeted the two with a wave. His three students were talking amicably with each other around the fire as they roasted the sweet potatoes they bought earlier. It's a typical campfire scene if one ignores the screaming Gatō tied to a tall post at the center of the big bonfire, flames licking at his feet.

"What the everlasting fuck?" Zabuza repeated, but with more feelings. Haku, already used to Team 7's brand of craziness due to him helping them while Zabuza was out of comission, just greeted them with a smile.

"You guys got here just in time! We're almost done roasting," Kakashi eye-smiled.

Zabuza isn't exactly sure which _roasting_ the silver-haired jounin is referring to and he's not keen to clarify.

"Zabuza! Help me! Help me get out of here!" Gatō wailed desperately the moment he saw Zabuza. The sleazeball promised riches and women but all of it fell on deaf ears, not because Zabuza didn't want it but because he's too busy giving judging looks at Team 7, specifically Sakura.

"That's not the correct way to roast it." he frowned at her. "Don't they teach you that you can't put them directly into the fire?" he clicked his tongue.

"Eh? Really?" Sakura blinked at him. "It's my first time doing this so I wasn't sure. And some people," she glared at her male companions, all three looking anywhere but her, "didn't want to tell me how."

Zabuza clicked his tongue again. "Move, girl. I'll show you how you do it." he said as he crouched beside her. Taking the stick from her hand, he poked the leaf-covered sweet potato and shifted it so it isn't directly in the fire. "There, now you won't end with a blackened potato that tasted like charcoal."

Sakura beamed and gave him a quick hug in gratitude before she went back to watching her potato.

Zabuza just sat there frozen at the sudden contact from the girl. He glanced at Sakura and quietly wondered if everyone from the Leaf is crazy. No one brave enough to hug a dangerous criminal so easily could be sane. No wonder the Mist lost to these so-called softies.

Meanwhile, Haku was quietly helping Naruto wrap more sweet potatoes with the leaves, munching on a roasted one offered by Kakashi.

Gatō on the other hand, is still screaming loudly above the fire.


	20. Before We Leave For Leaf

**Zabuza and Kakashi finally fights. Meanwhile, both Haku and the three genins had perfected the art of ignoring their guardians. **

* * *

"It saddens me greatly at the thought that we will part ways right when we are in the cusp of solidifying our friendship," Kakashi said regrettably.

Zabuza stared blankly at him. "No you fucking don't, you fucking weirdo. Get the fuck away from me," he spat out harshly.

"Now, now, Zabuza. Don't be shy. It's not a crime to admit that we're friends already," Kakashi eye-smiled at him, slowly advancing with his hands up with the intention to hug the man, or at least something along that lines.

"Hatake I swear to the Great Sage if you put even _one finger_ on me, I will fucking _cut it_ and put you in the water prison." he hissed.

"Come on now, Zabuza. Don't be shy. Just a high-five. Just one measly, simple high-five," Kakashi encouraged as he got even closer-

-only to take a few steps back when Zabuza held out his sword to his throat.

"I fucking warned you Hatake," the Mist-nin growled at him in annoyance before swinging it towards the jounin.

Kakashi just laughed as he parried the sword with his kunai, jumping away to land on top of the tree to avoid Zabuza's water jutsu. Making a few handsigns, he spits out a water jutsu he copied from Zabuza and tried to land a kick on him, only to be pushed back when the man used his sword to deflect it.

"Should we stop them?" Naruto asked Sakura as he tried to keep up with the jounins' movements.

Sakura tilted her head in thought. "Nope!" she smiled brightly.

_"We're going to arrive late to Konoha if we don't go now." _Sasuke signed with a frown. Just as he was about to jump into the fray, a hand firmly grabbed his shoulder and squeezed in warning. Looking back, Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Sakura.

"Don't even think about jumping into that fight, Sasuke-kun." she sternly said with a smile.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "_I'm just going to use my sharingan to stop them."_

"That's just stupid. You got it quite recently and aren't used to it yet. Plus, Kakashi-sensei has his own sharingan and Zabuza is a jounin. Sharingan or not, a mere genin can't win against a jounin. Much less two." she explained.

_"We won't know if we don't try."_

"No, Sasuke-kun. And that's final. And if you even think of going against me, I **will** trap you in a barrier and set Ino on you."

Sasuke paled at that. Just the thought of Ino being anywhere near him in a ten feet radius made his skin crawl, much less one. With a dissatisfied huff, Sasuke crossed his arms and sulked behind Naruto. The blond grinned mischievously and was about to open his mouth to mock the Uchiha but quickly closed it and chose not to say anything at Sakura's warning glare.

Haku, ever the elegant one, just chuckled elegantly at them.

"Since Kakashi-sensei and Zabuza-san is busy and don't seem to be done soon, let's do our report as we wait." Sakura suggested.

"Eh~? Do we have to~?" Naruto whined.

"Unless you want to disappoint Iruka-sensei?" Sakura challenged.

Both Sasuke and Naruto exchanged looks. "No..." they both petulantly answered.

Sakura smiled in satisfaction at their reply. She then turned to Haku. "I can teach you more about seals if you're interested, Haku." she offered.

"Will I not interfere with your task?" he asked politely.

"It's no problem at all, Haku." Sakura smiled.

"Yeah! We're happy to have you hang out with us-ttebayo!" Naruto agreed.

"_It's not unpleasant to have you with us,_" Sasuke signed behind Naruto.

"Then I would gladly take up on that offer, Sakura-san." Haku bowed gratefully and fell in step with them as they went to a more peaceful and quiet environment.

"Wait, where did the kids go?" Kakashi asked two hours later, looking around for his genins while throwing shurikens at Zabuza.

"What? I thought you had eyes on them!" Zabuza growled at him angrily, deflecting the shurikens with his sword before throwing two kunais at Kakashi.

Kakashi easily avoided the projectiles and threw a few jutsus back at him. "Well, sorry for trying to not get killed by you," he answered sarcastically. "And here I thought we were friends."

An earth wall was raised in front of Zabuza, protecting him from the jutsus. "What is it with you and friendship?!" Zabuza shouted behind his cover, making a series of handsigns and spits out another water jutsu the moment the wall crumbled.

"You can't be stuck with Naruto and not hear his famous "_friendship is magic and the answer to everything!_" lecture and not get infected by his belief." Kakashi remarked as he used a substitution jutsu to avoid Zabuza's attack. "Sage knows why that child has that belief despite his bitter childhood. In fact, he's quite stable compared to Sakura and Sasuke, and Sakura's the boring one. At least Sasuke has his whole "_my clan got massacred_" thing to explain his grumpiness."

Zabuza paused midway through his handsigns. "...your brats are fucking weird, Hatake."

Kakashi sighed in fond exasperation. "I know."


	21. Sweet Moment

**Chuunin Exam is almost here and there's two idiots being sickeningly sweet. **

* * *

"Are you all ready for the Chuunin Exam?"

All at once, every activity grind to a sudden halt.

"What?" Naruto asked stupidly.

"Excuse me?" Sakura stared at Iruka.

_"???" _Sasuke conveyed through his face.

Iruka blinked in surprise. "Kakashi didn't tell you?" he said in disbelief.

As one, all eyes shifted towards said man-

-who is currently giggling like a little girl as he reads his newest Icha Icha Paradise.

Kakashi instinctively dodged when he felt something flying towards him. Looking to his right, he raised an eyebrow at the sight of a senbon, two kunais and a shuriken embedded on the trunk. "Don't you think that's a little bit rude to throw pointy things at the people you love?" he said nonchalantly at Iruka and his team.

"Don't test me, Hatake." Iruka stared him down.

"Yes, dear." Kakashi gave in immediately.

"Does this mean Iruka-sensei is the mom in this situation?" Naruto whispered loud enough for only Sakura and Sasuke to hear.

Sakura muffled a giggle. "Iruka-sensei is _definitely_ the mom."

"_My dad was like that too when mom got angry..."_ Sasuke stared wistfully into the distance, eyes slightly glazing.

Naruto and Sakura exchanged glances. Without a word, they squished themselves against Sasuke, arms jostling against one another as they trapped him in the middle. The Uchiha glared half-heartedly at them but said nothing at the close contact. Both Sakura and Naruto gave a pleased smile at each other above his head.

"Look at them, Iruka. Aren't they just adorable?" Kakashi smiled at the display. "Doesn't it just makes you want to throw up?"

"Oh, hush you. I know you love them." Iruka laughed lightly. A moment of silence passed before Iruka levelled a curious look. "So why didn't you tell them about the exam?"

Kakashi hummed lowly. "Do you think they could pass?" he said instead.

Iruka raised an eyebrow at him. "You're asking me?"

"You're the only one beside me who knows their current skills. Tell me honestly - from your point of view as an examiner and a teacher, will they pass?"

"... no. I doubt they can be promoted to chuunin on their current level."

Kakashi smiled ruefully. "Ye of little faith."

"Don't get me wrong, Kakashi. You and I both know what it really means to be a chuunin and as proud as I am at how fast they're growing, they still don't have the qualities necessary or needed for a chuunin. But that's my opinion on them becoming chuunin. On them doing well in the exams however?" Iruka smiled widely at his partner. "Those three will pass the exam easily."

Kakashi stared at Iruka in surprise before he let out a shocked laugh, earning questioning looks from the three genins. "You never fail to surprise me, Iruka." he grinned, snaking an arm around the chuunin's waist to pull him down beside him. "How did I get so lucky to have you?" Kakashi sighed dreamily and kissed Iruka's cheek.

"I think that's thanks to the kids." Iruka replied with a beaming smile. When Kakashi did a fake-grimace at the reminder, Iruka just laughed happily and kissed the jounin in return.

Both adults ignored the gagging sounds coming from the genins as they continued staring at each other like two idiots in love.


	22. What Ibiki Thought

**Ibiki had a thought. It's not all pleasant. What do you expect of the Head TI?**

* * *

The moment Ibiki walked in and saw Team 7, he had to physically restrain himself from walking right out.

'_By the Sage, they're here,'_ Ibiki mentally groaned as he walked to the front of the class, his face blank and emotionless despite the inner turmoil he's currently having at the moment.

Of course they're here. Kakashi isn't stupid enough to let go of the opportunity to see something entertaining by sticking his genins into the Chuunin Exam. Knowing him, that bastard had probably also made sure his three gremlins would cause as much chaos as they possibly could.

Letting out enough bloodlust to intimidate the genins into submission, Ibiki dutifully recited what their first exam entails and what they should and should not do during the test.

Sage give him strength and patience to not murder everyone in this room. Which idiot thought it was a good idea to put him in a room full of children? He's the head of TI for Shodaime's sake!

Nevertheless it is a duty given to him by the Sandaime and Ibiki would dutifully do what he's asked to do, even if he feels like just driving a kunai straight into his heart for every five minutes he's in this room.

Everything went great at first. Some blatant and not-so-subtle cheating here and a few disqualified genins there, but nothing too crazy. Which is why Ibiki should've realised that something is about to go horribly wrong.

Everyone worth their salt and blood as shinobis knows who Team 7 are.

Kakashi's team. Kakashi's brats. The Demon Trio. Chaos Incarnate. The Mad 7. Endless Paperwork. A Headache In The Making. So on and so forth. Ibiki should know better. He _does _know better.

Which is why Ibiki isn't quite surprised at the sudden cloud of smoke appearing. Ibiki didn't even say anything as he watched and listened at the chaos as genins screamed and flailed all around. He didn't even bat an eye at the fact that when he cleared out the room with a wind technique, the once closed windows are mysteriously open, causing most candidates to lose their paper yet Team 7 still had theirs.

He was however pleasantly shocked when both Naruto and Sakura erupted into smoke and are now sitting in the other's seat right after he finished telling about question 10 and said about what it means to be a chuunin.

"Man! I just wasted one of my smoke tags for nothing!" Naruto whined loudly as he flopped in Sakura's seat, moaning about how much time he spent making it.

"Shut up, Naruto. **I** just wasted my chakra trying to maintain the henge!" Sakura grumbled in dissatisfaction, arms crossed as she glared daggers at Ibiki.

Sasuke just yawned and looked at his teammates with bored eyes, a smirk now resting on his face.

Ibiki could feel a headache forming in his scarred head but the thought that he no longer has anything to do with these hellions the moment the test is over eased the pressure a bit.

When the window shattered and a banner spread itself out in front of him, Anko's voice echoing in the room as she laughed and make that subtle threat at the genins, Ibiki could only hold his head and sighed, thinking why are there so many weirdos in his beloved village.

He really should have brought his flask full of alcohol along with him earlier.


	23. Anko and Izzen

**While the first exam is going on, Anko plans her dramatic entrance with the help of a disgruntled chuunin.**

* * *

**_Ohohoho? Is that love I see? Or is this just me making yet another filler because I'm having a writer's block?_**

* * *

"So Kakashi's brats are in there, huh?" Anko grinned widely as she eyed the classroom where the first exam is being held.

The chuunin standing beside her just sighed. "No. Whatever you're planning to do, just no."

Anko pouted. "What~? Come on, Izzen! Where's the fun in that? Aren't you a li~ttle bit curious about these gremlins Kakashi had been bragging about?"

The chuunin, Izzen, gave her a flat look and said, "No." and left it at that. "Now please let me go so I can continue making the preparations for the second exam."

"Iz~zen!" Anko whined. "You know I can't do this without you! Who would help me do the awesome entrance?!"

"I am not the only chuunin here. Plus, you are a jounin, Mitarashi-san. I'm sure you can manage."

"Iz~zen!"

Izzen sighed deeply and wondered why he's here. He had a perfectly good job at the mission desk before this and to hell with what people say, he is perfectly happy handling the mission scrolls and accepting reports from returning shinobis. He is not an exceptional shinobi in any way so why in Sage's name is he here? With Anko of all people? The one person that has one of the most atrocious and headache-inducing report he had ever received in his entire career as a mission desk clerk.

"Fine! Then I'll just call my snake summon and make a dramatic entrance then!" Anko declared triumphantly.

"What? No! Mitarashi-san, do you know how much damage that would cause?! Not to mention all the mental damages you will cause to the genins?!" Izzen exclaimed in shock.

"What's there to worry about? All damages made during the Chuunin Exams will be covered by those people who handles the finance or something like that." Anko shrugged.

Izzen had to clench his fists to stop himself from grabbing Anko so he could shake her as violently as he could. Yes the damages made during the Chuunin Exams will be covered under collateral damages but does she even realise all the paperwork involved?! Does she even know that _he's_ the one that has to handle that because he somehow got unlucky enough to be the one chosen as her helper?!

Rubbing his forehead, he repeated the same mantra he used whenever he received stupid reports (that mostly originates from Anko) and reminded himself that it is an honor to be chosen by the Sandaime to help Anko do the second exam and that this is _not_ some kind of a roundabout way of punishing him for the sarcastic comment he accidentally gave to the Hokage two weeks ago.

"Look, Mitarashi-san. Will you promise to listen to me if I help you do a dramatic entrance?" he asked her tiredly.

Anko made a thinking pose and hummed for a bit before giving him a wide grin. "I'll agree to it if you call me Anko." she offered.

"Only if you stop calling me by my first name." Izzen countered.

"No deal." Anko rejected happily.

Izzen let out another deep sigh. "Fine. I'll accept that condition then, Anko-san." he said as he offered his hand.

Anko frowned a bit but nevertheless shook hands with him. "Deal. So, what's your plan for my dramatic entrance now that I can't use my summons, Izzen?"

Briefly, Izzen wondered if it isn't too late to call it quits now.

"Anko-san, what is your opinion about crashing into the classroom through the window with a banner displayed behind you?"

At the sight of Anko's eyes lighting up, Izzen mentally apologise to Iruka and hoped that the man wouldn't be too mad at him later.


	24. A Big Snake

**There's a snake in the forest. A really big snake in the forest. Actually, it's kinda too big to actually belong in the forest.**

* * *

**_Which is better: Kakashi coming to rescue team 7 or a funny encounter between Orochimaru and team 7?_**

* * *

"Is that a giant snake?"

"What?" Naruto looked up from the traps he was dismantling. "A giant snake? Really?"

Sakura squinted at the direction Sasuke is looking. "I don't see any sna- wait, is that log moving- yeah okay, it's a giant snake."

Naruto crowded between the two and squinted at the same direction. "Huh, it **is** a giant snake. How about that."

"I don't remember seeing snakes that big when we were training in here."

"Me neither."

"Hn. Could be the proctor's pet."

At least it's not a giant cockroach."

The three immediately shuddered at the reminder.

The three genins watched as the giant snake seem to slither slowly between the trees with morbid curiosity, eyes never leaving the enormous creature as it came closer and closer and-

"Is it just me or is that giant snake coming right at us?" Sakura commented calmly.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted as he took out a kunai.

"Yep," Naruto agreed while pulling out his special exploding tag. "I wonder if one tag is enough to cook it..." he wondered curiously.

"With your tag, it'll explode before it can even be cooked." Sakura rebuked. "Still, I can't exactly trap it. I'm not completely sure how big or how long it is exactly and I don't think I'll have enough time to put up a barrier big enough to contain it."

"So we should set up traps then?"

"Enough to either immobilise or slow it down so I could put up my barrier."

"I don't think that snake is originally from here." Sasuke suddenly said. Both Naruto and Sakura turned to see Sasuke's sharingan being activated. "I can see chakra in that snake and it's not the same kind of chakra I see in the animals I've seen in this forest," he continued.

"I thought Uchihas can't see chakras?" Naruto wondered to which Sakura sighed.

"Despite being different, sharingans and byakugans share some similarities and one of that is the ability to see chakras. Granted, byakugans can see it better and in finer details compared to sharingans." she lectured. "Honestly, this is why you should pay attention in class."

"No, I don't think there's a class about them." Naruto sweatdropped.

"Enough about that. What are we going to do with the snake? It's coming closer now," the Uchiha interjected.

"For now, I think we should get as far away from it as possible. If it **is** a summon, then that means its summoner is somewhere near and we **do not **want to fight them." Sakura stressed. "And before you idiots ask why, need I remind you that we're merely genins and can barely go up against a single jounin with the three of us combined."

"So? We're in a Chuunin Exam! That means that this guy or girl or whatever is a genin too!" Naruto pointed out.

"That's... actually true." Sakura conceded. "Nonetheless, it still doesn't change the fact that this person is strong enough to call such a big summon. We should avoid them as best as possible."

"Still, I wonder what it will taste like? I mean, since it's big, its meat must be juicier, right?" Naruto guessed as he continued dismantling the last pieces of his traps.

"_Wonder if it's tastier to roast it,"_ Sasuke signed, eyes still stuck on the slithering snake."_Or maybe stew."_

"I bet it has more meat than fat. Cooking it over the fire sounds nice right now," Sakura imagined dreamily.

While the three bicker about what the snake will taste like, the snake suddenly picked up speed and lunged at them. Sensing the danger, both Sakura and Sasuke automatically jumped to higher grounds, leaving Naruto alone on the lower branch.

"Eh?" was the only thing Naruto was able to say before he was swallowed up by the snake.

Ten seconds later, the snake exploded into pieces, meat and blood raining down and splattering wetly against the barrier Sakura had put up around herself and Sasuke.

"This is so gross." she made a face and pinched her nose despite not being able to smell the blood and charred meat through the barrier. "Why did you use your second strongest special tag, Naruto? Now look at the mess you've made," she glared up to where Naruto is, a similar barrier as hers surrounding him as well.

"I thought it wouldn't be enough to kill it if I use a normal one." he admitted, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Should've used the normal one. At least it'll stay intact and we could eat it." Sakura pouted.

"I doubt you can eat a summon." Sasuke pointed it out. "They tend to disappear if their chakras are suddenly disrupted."

As if to prove a point, smoke immediately covered the area and filled their vision white. When it finally subsided, the blood and meat from earlier were nowhere to be seen.

"Well, I guess that takes care of it." Sakura shrugged as she took down the barriers. "Good job with the clone, Naruto."

Naruto beamed in pride at the compliment.

"When the exam is over, we're so going to force Kakashi-sensei to treat us to some meat." the girl suggested to which the two boys agreed fervently.

Meanwhile, somewhere within the forest, a certain someone with questionable gender was left wondering what the fuck just happened to their snake summon.


	25. A Kiss Heals A Dying Man?

**Kakashi tries to do good but sometimes that 'good' may end up not being good for him. Or maybe it does.**

* * *

_Or that time when I almost made Naruto and Iruka OP for the fun of it and it became almost borderline R18._

* * *

Back when they were still in Wave, Kakashi had shown the three-pronged kunai from his sensei to Naruto. Maybe it was guilt or maybe it was just some silly nostalgia, but Kakashi had shown one of his most prized possession to Naruto, and only to Naruto, with a sad smile.

_"This belonged to the Yondaime once,"_ he said one quiet night,_"H__e was known as the Yellow Flash, always appearing and disappearing in a blink of an eye. The seal on the kunai is what made it possible."_

Contrary to his expectation, Naruto wasn't jumping up and down in excitement. Instead, the young genin solemnly listened to him, craddling the kunai like it's the most important thing he has ever received.

In a way, he kinda did received something very important know, doesn't it?

Instead of a name or a memory, Naruto received a legacy of his father that he never knew about. Guilt clawed in Kakashi's heart at the fact that he was too cowardly to tell Naruto who his parents were but for now, with Naruto smiling happily at him at being entrusted with something so important, it was enough to ease the pain a little.

When Naruto loudly declared that he was able to not only understand the seal but also re-create it almost three weeks later, Kakashi happily congratulate the jinchuuriki, treated him to some Ichiraku ramen, and made Naruto promise to only use it during emergencies.

Now, standing in the forest with his pants half down and a blushing and half-naked Iruka beneath him, Kakashi instantly regret letting Naruto place a seal on him.

"Ew, you were being nasty with Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said while he made a disgusted face.

"I expected this from Kakashi-sensei but even you, Iruka-sensei?" Sakura shook her head in disappointment.

Sasuke merely closed his eyes and covered them with his hands for good measure so he wouldn't accidentally record the indecent sight with his sharingan. "Get a room." he calmly stated to the two adults.

"We WERE in a room." Kaakshi sighed irritably as he stood up, not bothering to zip up his pants as Iruka hastily straightened himself.

Naruto peered at Kakashi curiously. "Do you actually have sex while still wearing the mask, Kaka-sensei?"

Iruka spluttered and tried to reprimand Naruto but he's too embarrassed to properly form a sentence. Kakashi just ran a hand through his messy hair in a vain attempt to neat it up. "No, Naruto. In fact, I was about to pull it off before _someone_," he looked at his blond genin pointedly, "summoned me. Which reminds me; how in seven hells did you summon me, Naruto?"

"Hm? Oh! I just reverse-summon you." Naruto shrugged simply.

"That's... that makes sense but at the same time not." Kakashi deadpanned.

"And may I ask **why** exactly did you summon him? Reverse-summon aside, this could lead to instant disqualification!" Iruka, now wearing a properly buttoned pants and a black shirt minus the chuunin flak jacket, stood standing with his hands on his hips and a raised eyebrow at them. "I thought Kakashi told you to only use it during an emergency?"

"It **is** an emergency." Sakura piped up before she pointed at something behind the two adults.

As one, the jounin and chuunin turn around to see and froze when they saw a person that is unmistakably Orochimaru standing awkwardly a few feet away from them with his own team, struggling to free themselves from Naruto's traps.

As if sensing he's being talked about, the snake sannin looked up to them and snarled.

Before Kakashi could so much as raise a hand to wave awkwardly, Iruka slammed his hands to the ground and a barrier immediately appeared around Orochimaru and his team, trapping them within it.

"As expected, Iruka-sensei can really put up a barrier without using any seals." Sakura nodded to herself in satisfaction. "All according to plan."

Kakashi narrowed his eye suspiciously at the kunoichi. "What plan?"

"Oh! Oh!" Naruto waved his hand to answer. "When the snake-pervert was chasing us, Sakura-chan said that we can't trap him in a barrier since we don't have the time to place the tags to do it."

"So she wanted to call Iruka-sensei over since he could raise a barrier without using any seals or tags." Sasuke continued.

"But since I didn't actually have the time to draw a seal on Iruka-sensei -and you know how long it takes for me to draw that seal- Sakura-chan asked me to summon you instead!" Naruto finished.

"So you're saying I'm just Iruka's ride?"

The three genins exchanged looks before they turned back to their jounin sensei. "Pretty much," Sakura agreed.

"Totally," Naruto supported.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted.

"Wow, you wound me. Look at that, my heart is bleeding." Kakashi said in a monotone voice as he placed a hand on his heart, putting on an illusion of him bleeding from there. "Look, Iruka. Look at what my ungrateful gremlins had done to me," he turned to his lover, raising a blood-soaked hand towards the brunet.

Iruka merely raised an eyebrow at him. "And? What do you want me to do?"

"Heal me."

"With what?"

"A kiss. A kiss from a handsome prince will always heal a dying man."

Iruka rolled his eyes at Kakashi with fond exasperation. "I've never heard of something like that, you big weirdo." he scoffed but still leaned in to place a chaste kiss on Kakashi's covered lips.

"That's not enough," the jounin murmured before he tossed a smoke bomb, pulled down his mask, and kissed Iruka deeply.

"Ewww, gross!" Naruto made a disgusted face again.

"Get a room!" Sakura told them off with a grin.

Sasuke merely closed his eyes again, covering it with his hands for extra cover.

Meanwhile, Orochimaru had to take a second and wondered just what had happened the last time he was here.


End file.
